How to become an Animagus
by princegeorge
Summary: Severus decides to take a private training with Minerva, and discovers she isn't the Deputy Headmistress for nothing.
1. Chapter 1

**How to become an Animagus. **

**A/N This is a follow up to Why am I not surprised, which was just a silly thing. But the idea of the lessons seemed like fun, so there we are. **

**Lesson 1. **

**In which Severus enjoys his free Saturday morning, for once indulges the mediwitch, anticipates his first Animagus lesson and finds Minerva is a stern and thorough teacher, much to his chagrin. **

o-o-o-o-o-o

Saturday morning when he wasn't on duty, had always been one of Severus's much treasured secrets. At weekdays he got up at six, but Saturday morning saw him sleep till nine, he didn't visit the Grand hall and instead a house elf brought him a tray of toast, butter and honey, a pot of coffee and a glass of orange juice and copies of the_ Daily Prophet,_ the_ Sun_ and the_ Guardian._

Today was no exception.

He took his time enjoying his breakfast, still clad in his dressing gown, reading the papers and shaking his head over the stupidity of some of the editors…really. Still, if one knew where to look, the rags contained valuable information even if the journalists weren't aware of it themselves.

_Large UFO seen above Essex! _The_ Sun_ reported. _'I have never seen anything like that!' frightened farmers exclaim! _

He made a mental note to inform Albus, no doubt Hagrid had taken the Hippogriff out for some air and forgot the time.

A long, luxury shower was the next item on Saturday's to do list. Contrary to many student's beliefs, and he was well aware the called him the greasy git, personal hygiene was high on his list. Using his own blends of shower gel and shampoo, every morning he looked glowing with health, hair shining and wavy. Just ten minutes spent above a fuming kettle made those good looks disappear however. In the weekends, he was able to enjoy the effects somewhat longer.

Freshly scrubbed and dressed after his long shower, he poured himself another cup of coffee and stretched his long legs before him.

How to spend this lovely morning, free of annoying students? A walk in the Forbidden Forest, he decided. He'd noticed he was short on four-leaf clovers, it was a nice day and as a bonus it would probably make Poppy stop nagging at him.

'You need to go out more Severus! Dwelling in those dungeons of yours all day isn't healthy. You need sunshine on your skin, and physical exercise in the fresh air!' she used to tell him.

While he was never one to enjoy the outdoors he found himself, much to his own surprise, not disliking his morning stroll in the Forest as much as he'd expected, no doubt due to his peaceful start of the day. An intelligent conversation with Ban added to his good mood.

Feeling very content about for once having silenced the annoying mediwitch and with a full bag of freshly picked clovers, he entered his rooms and found his lunch served at the same moment. Those elves knew how to do their job, he had to admit.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

When lunch was cleared away, he prepared himself for his first lesson with Minerva. Truth be told, he'd been jealous numerous times of her ability to turn in to an animal. Being able to do that, to be able to sneak around without being noticed was priceless for a spy. Knowing how much study and practise Animagus training took however, he realised he never had the time for it. But now that his lessons were going more smoothly, that was to say usually, when no careless – Minerva scowled each time he called them brainless, which was much closer to the truth- first year students from whatever House were involved, he could spare the time and finally take some lessons.

The only thing that kept bothering him was the fact that he had no idea what kind of animal his Animagus form would be.

Considering his personality and history, he assumed everything was possible. And while a cat or perhaps a stray dog wandering about would not raise any eyebrows among, say, the Death Eaters, he had a feeling that a raven, or a bearded lizard or a hyena might draw some unwanted attention.

In the middle of his musings a knock on the door announced Minerva.

She strode into his rooms, carrying a small pile of books.

'Good afternoon Severus, are you ready for your first lesson?'

'I suppose so,' he answered, 'but is there really no way you can tell what animal I will become if I succeed? Suppose it's a sloth, what am I to do then?'

'Oh, I don't think your Animagus form will be a sloth, Severus, I know of only one, a wizard who died eighty years ago. No one noticed at first, by the way. He never moved a finger if he could avoid it, in either shape. '

'Alright, I see your point. But what if it's a cobra? Or a tarantula?'

Minerva smiled at him.

'Calm down, Severus. Most Animagi take a more common shape that fits their human nature. There is a chance you'll find yourself turning into a cobra, but I'd say it's a very small one. I suggest you start by reading these books; '_Animagi, a history'_ by Phyllis Szczarzka is mandatory, as is _'Advanced Transfiguration, volume 4'_ by Dylis Derwent. I think you'll find _'My Inner Animal,_' by Theodore Pruttell a bit on the vague side, but he does point out some interesting issues. Can I trust you to have read at least these volumes by next weekend? It would be useful if you read the other ones as well. Oh, and you may practise your wand-work in Transfiguration, especially turning living to non-living objects, I suppose your skills are a bit rusty there. Here's a pin cushion, I suggest you practise change that into a baby rabbit.'

'Why not a hedgehog?'

'That would be too easy. I certainly expect your skills to be far beyond that. Now, I trust you to have done your homework by next Saturday. Shall we meet at the same time?'

'What? Is this your lesson? Telling me to read books that have been sitting in the library for decades?'

She smiled at him.

'Yes, they've been there for decades but have you read them? ….I thought so. It's absolutely necessary to study these works before we attempt anything. I'll see you next week, Severus!'

o-o-o-o-o-o

**TBC if you like, please tell me what you think! **


	2. Chapter 2

How to become an Animagus

_A/N here the next piece is, finally…sorry for the long wait. You know, real life taking too much time and other fics to deal with. Anyway._

_I have to admit I wanted this to be just fun but a dark ingredient crawled its way in. I allowed it since it's a story about Snape, but I hope we'll be able to deal with it lightly. _

_I own nothing, have a nice read._

**Lesson 2. **

**In which Professor Snape reads a lot of boring books, reads some more books that aren't that boring, has serious problems with baby rabbits and gets fussed over by the mediwitch.**

o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Professor Snape was happy with himself. He had done his homework. He had read the list of books Minerva had recommended, and while he had found most of them boring or utterly boring, Mr Pruttell's book had made him laugh out loud repeatedly. A bit on the vague side Minerva had called it, but Severus found it hilarious. _'Deep conversations with your inner Animal'_ and _'Loving your inner animal, even if they're a cockroach or a piranha.'_ were his favourite chapters. Merlin, he had thought Trelawney to be a nutcase but Theodore Pruttell proved to be even weirder.

He had actually reread the chapters several times as a cool down after battling a chapter of Ms Phyllis Szczarzka's volume, probably the dullest book ever published.

Reading the books had been the easiest part however. The pincushion had proved to be a challenge.

'Turn it into a baby rabbit,' Minerva had told him.

While Severus had never been supportive of silly wand-waving, he had tackled the job with confidence. As a student his marks in Transfiguration had been acceptable, after all.

How hard could it be?

o-o-o-o

Pretty hard, he had to admit after several failures. His first attempts had not changed anything at all. The pincushion remained a pincushion.

Hm. Perhaps it would be useful to repeat his skills and have a go at it from the start. It probably had to do with muscle memory, he suspected. The correct way to held a wand and wave it. The body should remember, so he just needed some refreshing of the muscles.

Since Severus would sooner drink his student's concoctions than asking Pince for a book about Transfiguration, he Summoned his own old Transfiguration notes. Yellowed and crumbling parchments flew from his old trunk.

The first lessons….there they were. Changing a match into a needle. Merlin, that was ages ago! Putting a match on the table, he waved his wand. The match shimmered…it got a faint silvery shine but remained a match. Severus frowned.

To his frustration, he found himself practising Transfiguration every evening after dinner. Potions Weekly was left unattended, as well as his Muggle detective novel. But pretty soon he was able to change the match into a perfect needle.

Good. Up to the pin cushion.

First the pin cushion didn't change at all. Then it suddenly sported small rabbit's ears. It became fluffy. It had small rabbit's legs.

After two evenings of hard work, he waved his wand a the pincushion an was happy to see it change into a small, brown baby rabbit. The small creature wiggled its nose and shuffled over his desk.

Severus wasn't particularly fond of baby specimen of any kind, but he was proud of his achievement and reached out to stroke the small animal. He was completely surprised when it suddenly turned its head, bared its teeth and bit his forefinger.

o-o-o-o-o

After putting the animal into a very small cage, Severus had put a band-aid on his finger and went to bed. The next morning his finger was swollen and painful, and by the time he was finally able to finish his classes his hand was throbbing and puffy, covered in ugly green blisters.

Feeling angry because he didn't understand what happened, he decided to pay a visit to the ever annoying matron.

'What have you been doing?' she asked.

'Wand work, if you must know,' he growled.

'Are you sure? Because this looks like a bite from a magical creature, and if I don't know what bit you I don't know how to treat it.'

'Can't you just treat what you see? Merlin, dozens of students come in here and lie about how they got their injuries!'

Madame Pomfrey put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

'Yes they do but they aren't Potions Masters that handle poisons every single day!' she snapped.

'Alright, alright,' he sighed. The woman had a point there.

'Well?' she demanded impatiently.

'Arbt,' he muttered.

'What was that?'

'A rabbit,' he said, more clearly.

'A rabbit, are you sure? One of those killer rabbits from the Forbidden Forest?'

'No, a baby rabbit I conjured by Transfiguring a pincushion,' he said, with as much dignity as he could master while admitting something that humiliating. He expected the mediwitch to start howling with laughter, but instead she only smiled.

'Leave it to you to conjure a vicious baby rabbit,' she chuckled. 'I don't suppose you've kept it, have you?'

'I have. Accio pincushion-rabbit.'

The very small cage containing the beast floated through the fireplace.

'It's very cute, Severus!' Poppy admired the small creature.

'You'd better be careful, after all I created it,' he growled and indeed the rabbit showed its teeth and hissed at Poppy when she reached out for it.

'I see,' she said, took her wand and waved it over the cage. A green light appeared around it and she startled visibly.

'Merlin, you've created a poisonous rabbit! From a pincushion you said? Why on earth were you doing that anyway?' she muttered, while running more spells over the cage. 'I thought silly wand waving wasn't your thing at all.'

'I've been taking some lessons with Minerva,' he explained vaguely. 'You know, just to keep up with things.'

'I see. But why not turn it into a hedgehog?'

'She said that would be too easy.'

'Hm. I'll keep that rabbit here if you don't mind. Let's see… the common salve for most poisonous bites would do…or perhaps…yes, I'd rather give you the stronger version. It will probably take a layer of your skin, too, but better safe than sorry. And I want you to stay away from your kettles and fumes tomorrow.'

'I can't do that, I have to teach!'

'You will do as I say, Severus. You will or I'll tell the Weasley twins you've fought a baby rabbit and lost.'

That was an unusual threat and it made him see she was very serious about it.

'And Hufflepuffs are supposed to be the kind ones,' he growled, while snatching the jar of salve from her desk.

'No need to thank me, Severus,' she said sweetly. 'Apply that salve every hour for the next two days. Good day to you!'

He left her office, muttering under his breath and she was pretty sure he would do as she told him. Beneath all their bickering they respected each other and he knew that behind her matron disguise she was – in her own circles- a renowned chemist and physicist, studying the Forbidden Forest and its inhabitants and every possible effect of every possible spell on every possible subject, so a school full of brainless teenagers was the best place to stay for her. And she in return had to admit to feeling worried about the pale, thin man at times, in a motherly way.

She turned her attention once again to the wonderful animal he'd created.

Minerva, for the brightest witch alive you can be very stupid sometimes, she thought grimly. Who in their right mind would tell Severus to turn a pincushion…

She sighed, went to the fireplace and pinched some Floo powder from the jar on the mantel.

'Minerva, I want you here!' she shouted while throwing it in the fire.

o-o-o-o

**TBC…tell me what you think please!**


	3. Chapter 3

Lesson 3

_Thanks for your kind reviews! Keep them coming, please._

_I do not own the characters, JKR does. Next lesson/ chapter; hope you like it. _

**Lesson 3 **

**In which Professor McGonagall gets a lesson from her lover and Professor Snape enjoys an unexpected day off. **

o-o-o-o-o

Professor McGonagall looked up from her desk when an angry cloud of green ash blasted into her office, accompanied by the Matron's order to see her at once. Knowing her friend better than anyone else, she knew she had some questions to answer.

Tumbling out of the fireplace in Poppy's office, she patted the soot from her robes and looked at her friend. 'What's wrong, love?'

'This is,' Poppy said curtly and pointed at her desk, where a cage stood containing a small rabbit.

'What is that?' Minerva asked, confused.

'It's Severus's homework, the pincushion you told him to change into a baby rabbit.'

She smiled. 'I knew he could do it…a cutie you are, aren't you…' but when she reached out to stroke the animal it narrowed its eyes, hissed and spat at her.

Poppy quickly pulled her away.

'Did it hit you?' she asked agitated.

'No, no it didn't, it just spat on the…'she gasped when she saw the little columns of smoke rise from the new formed holes in the desk where it had spat on it.

'Merlin, what is that?'

'The pincushion that you told Severus to change into a baby rabbit,' the nurse answered.

'It's poisonous.'

She trembled with shock, staring wide eyed at the rabbit. 'I don't understand…' she whispered. 'Poppy, what happened? Do you know?'

The mediwitch wrapped her arm around her friend and took her into her small parlour. They sat down on the settee and Poppy Summoned a house elf and asked for tea and biscuits.

'He told me it took him some effort to transfigure the pincushion,' Poppy said. 'Have you ever noticed him having trouble with that in your class, when he was a student?'

'No, never. He was one of my best students.'

'Then why did you make him brush up his skills?'

'Because I suspected he hadn't Transfigured so much as a hankie in a washcloth since he left school, and that was many years ago. Just a reminder.'

'I see…' Poppy murmured while preparing their tea.

'Are you going to tell me what happened?

'I don't really know myself, love. I am just as puzzled as you are. So no problems in class?'

'Nothing with his results, only he was constantly being bullied by James Potter's group. I felt sorry for the poor lad, but Albus told me to stay out of it…I still wonder if I did the right thong by listening to him..., why do you ask?'

'Because poisonous rabbits don't exist and yet he made one.'

'But Poppy, that's impossible. No one can Transfigurate an object into a live being that doesn't exist…'

'No one ever did so far,' Poppy confirmed. 'But Severus managed somehow, and now we'll have to find out what happened. Why did he need to brush up his skills anyway, Minerva?'

'Because he wants to learn how to be an Animagus,' Minerva whispered. 'Oh Poppy, is that safe? What if he turns into a poisonous rabbit?'

Poppy chuckled by the idea of Severus as a fluffy rabbit, poisonous or not.

'I really don't know, love. I suppose it depends on what shape he takes as an Animagus. A person's Animagus form is decided by birth, isn't it?'

'Yes, it is. No doubt about that.'

'That's good to know. I have a hunch this poisonous rabbit may have something to do with his Dark Mark. It might explain why he had never any problems in your class. I'll have to do a lot more research, though.'

Poppy wrapped an arm around her friend.

'We'll work together,' she said.

They had more tea, added a wee dram of Firewhisky and Minerva was finally able to relax.

'Poppy, I know it's a weekday but may I sleep here with you? Please?' she asked her lover. 'I don't want to be alone now.'

'Oh, come here,' Poppy said.

o-o-o-o-o

Severus woke up before his usual time, disturbed by the house elf he had ordered to apply the salve to his injured hand every hour during the night.

'Sorry sir but it's six sir! Came to put salve on!'

'Alright, go on,' he said sleepily. At seven the elf woke him again and when it presented itself for the eight o'clock treatment, Severus sat up and studied his hand. It was less red and painful, the throbbing had diminished, but the greenish blisters looked even more angry than they had the other day. But that might be a sign of the body cleaning up the infection.

'Thank you. Can you send me a message when Madam Pomfrey is alone?' he asked the elf.

'I will professor sir.'

The elf disappeared and Severus found himself dealing with an unexpected day off. He looked forward to finally having time to complete his experiments on the side effects of belladonna and chamomile when Madam Pomfrey' voice rang in his ears.

'Stay away from your kettles and fumes!' she had ordered and to his own surprise, he decided to give in.

A nice, hot long shower it was, then. Pulling a large dragon hide glove over his injured hand, he managed to keep it dry. A bit of magic proved to be useful to handle the towels with one hand. Dressed in clean, fresh robes and his hair shining and wavy, he sat down to enjoy his breakfast and took his time with it, scanning the Daily Rag.

Okay, so no experiments on the belladonna or even the chamomile. Then what to do?

On the floor next to his easy chair, his abandoned Muggle detective seemed to wink at him. So did the coffee pot on the stove, and the sofa. Hm.

Severus applied his salve and while tending to his blistered skin, he got an idea and decided to visit Diagonally. He hadn't been there in ages. The weekends were always overcrowd and he detested that, but today was Friday.

He was startled by a sizzling sound and found a note on the floor:

_Madam Pomfrey can see you now professor sir., _it read.

Good. Having enjoyed a cooked breakfast with bacon, eggs, beans and bangers, he felt ready to face the nurse.

'Have you any idea what happened?' he asked while he strode into her office.

'Good morning, Severus,' she said pleasantly.

'I'm sorry Poppy. Good morning to you, too,' he said, feeling a bit ashamed for his lack of manners.

'Thank you. And I may have some ideas, but I'm not sure about anything. It's a very interesting case. If you don't mind I'd like to owl Professor Wiggings over at St Mungo's, he will be happy to think along with us.'

'That's alright,' he nodded.

'Now, I'd like to take a blood sample from you. I've also taken one from the rabbit – I Immobilised it first- and then if you don't mind, I'd like to have a small flake of skin from your Dark Mark. I will only put sticking plaster on it and then pull it off, so no one needs to find out.'

No one meaning the Dark Lord, he understood, and he nodded.

'You can take what you want,' he said.

While she prepared the needle and tube she said: 'Minerva told me you were one of her best students, she was surprised that you had trouble Transfigurating that pincushion.'

'So was I. First I thought it was just lack of practise, I haven't Transfigurated so much as a toothpick in the last twenty years. But this nasty bite made me wonder. I believe it's getting better, though, it's less painful.'

Poppy had her samples and examined his hand. 'You're right, it's healing nicely…you'll be able to go back to work next Monday. If you don't mind, I'd like to take a sample from one of the blisters.'

'I don't mind. Am I to let them heal naturally or should they be pierced?'

'I prefer letting them heal. They should be smaller this evening and if they are not, come see me. This little one however, near your wrist, I'll empty.'

She had prepared a syringe and needle and carefully filled it with the blister's contents. Then she applied a drop of what he knew to be a disinfectant on the small wound and used quite a lot of gauze to dress it.

'There you are. Come see me tonight anyway, I'd like to see what happens. Fancy a cup of tea?'

'Yes, please.'

Poppy closed the door and prepared them tea. Severus smiled inwardly when he noticed the Scottish blend. He was one of the very few who knew about her and Minerva.

'Severus, what worries me is that you have created an animal that does not exist in nature. Poisonous snakes exist, poisonous rabbits do not. Yet you made one, and it took you effort. Minerva said you never had troubles of that kind in her class. That's why I think your Dark Mark may have had something to do with that,' she said earnestly.

'I realised that when you wanted a skin sample. I never thought of that, the Mark has been there so long I sometimes forget it's there and I never connected it with my troubles in Transfigurating a cute rabbit. Did Minerva have any idea?'

'She didn't but then again, you are an unique case. I only came across it through the train rabbit- poisonous- snake-Slytherin-Dark Mark. I may be totally wrong, Severus, but I have to start somewhere.'

He smiled at her. 'And I know you love it,' he said.

'No, Severus, I am concerned about you!' she protested.

'Of course, I know you are but admit it Poppy, investigating a totally new subject excites you,' he smiled fondly.

The mediwitch chuckled, admitting defeat while still looking a bit guilty.

'You're right of course.'

'I take it I have to leave my Transfiguration practise behind?' he asked.

'Oh no, go on. Minerva said you wish to be an Animagus and so far, I don't see any risk there. Just stick to inanimate objects please.'

'Good idea.'

'Mm. Any plans for today?'

'I had planned a visit to the shops in Diagonally, now I have the opportunity to go there on a week day.'

'Which shops?' she asked.

'Oh, there is a splendid apothecary and I need some new kettles for class. And Flourish and Blotts, of course.'

'Just be sure not to touch anything in the apothecary. Have them wrap it up for you. I am probably overcautious, but better safe than sorry. And would you mind picking up an order at the bookshop for me while you're there?'

'No problem, Poppy. Thanks for the tea.'

'Enjoy your day, Severus,' the mediwitch smiled at him.

o-o-o-o-o

**TBC**

**Please, pretty please, let me know what you think! **

**Love, george**


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N_

_Thanks for staying with me! This is a slow chapter, lots of side stories - tell me if that annoys you terribly- but in the end we're making progress. _

_I do not own any characters or places mentioned. _

**Lesson 4**

**In which Professor Snape has an interesting conversation and Madam Pomfrey is in for a surprise. **

o-o-o-o-o

Severus strolled along Diagon Alley and enjoyed himself. On Friday the street still was pretty busy, but not nearly as crowded as on Saturdays. He purchased a new supply of kettles for his classroom and visited the apothecary.

'Professor Snape!' the owner exclaimed. 'What a pleasure to see you.'

'Good afternoon, Mr Lovejoy,' Severus answered politely.

There was only one other customer in the shop and when she left, Mr Lovejoy rushed from behind the counter to greet his old friend properly.

'Severus, what are you doing here on a weekday?' the chemist inquired while shaking his friend's hand.

In answer, Severus showed him his other hand and removed the dragon hide glove. 'Poppy's orders,' he said. 'I am not to touch any of your supplies either, Ambrose.'

'Heavens, what's that?'

'We don't know,' Severus said. 'That is, we know what caused it but that's a mystery in itself. It seems I have created a poisonous rabbit that bit me.'

Mr Lovejoy looked perplexed before starting to chuckle. 'Only you could create a poisonous rabbit,' he said. 'Exactly what Poppy said, but so far that brilliant observation hasn't helped us anywhere,' Severus grumbled.

'Let's go to my office,' Ambrose said. 'Annabel dear, can you look after the shop for a while?'

'Of course.' Mrs Lovejoy appeared from the small laboratory and smiled at their guest. 'Hello, Severus.'

'Hello Annabel, nice to see you,' he smiled back. Mr and Mrs Lovejoy were dear old friends of his, they'd met at the advanced course for Potions Brewing and had stayed in touch ever since.

'Now tell me all about the rabbit that bit you.' Ambrose said when they were seated in his office with tea.

While Severus told the story, Ambrose sat straight up in his chair. 'Fascinating,' he murmured. 'What does Poppy think, and Minerva?'

'Knowing them, they will spent the whole weekend peering through microscopes and doing tests,' Severus said. 'And knowing them they will find answers too, but probably not the ones we want.'

'Are your Transfiguration skills back to their usual level?'

'I believe so,' Severus said. ' This morning I transfigured my wingchair into a 102 pieces set of stemware and back. No problems, so as far as that goes, I really was only out of practise.'

'If there's anything Annabel and I can help you with, just let us know,' Ambrose said.

'Do you have time to have dinner with us? I'd like that! We could go into Muggle London, I haven't been there in ages but Annabel knows a fine Italian restaurant. How does that sound?'

'Excellent,' Severus smiled. 'I have to visit Flourish and Blotts, I'll meet you two here at seven.'

o-o-o-o

As was to be expected, meanwhile at Hogwarts madam Pomfrey had her hands full in the hospital wing. With Severus' suddenly absence the Muggle studies teacher, Charity Burbage, had offered to replace him and give the students lessons in Muggle cooking. Most of the children from magical families didn't have a clue even how to boil an egg, and Charity liked the idea of the Muggle borns being ahead of their magical raised peers for once.

She'd gone to the Room of Requirement and asked it to provide her with cookers and a fridge and a full Muggle kitchen supply, and to prevent any magic.

'You may start, class. Instructions are on the blackboard,' she had told them.

'Why do we need to know how to boil eggs the Muggle way?' a Gryffindor student had protested.

'Because one day we may find ourselves in a situation where the use of magic is unwise or even impossible,' she'd answered smoothly.

Fifteen minutes later, three students were sent to the hospital wing with burns, because they had picked the eggs out of the water with their bare hands.

'You have experienced that boiling water is hot, so be careful,' she had said, knowing Poppy would heal them in a second.

'Next assignment, prepare a simple broth. Ingredients are on your desks, instructions on the blackboard. You may proceed.'

At the end of the day the Purebloods were disorientated to say the least, and the Muggleborns smiled.

Many students were sent to the hospital wing with simple burns and cuts – I told the knife to cut the leek but it didn't budge and when I picked it up I cut myself- and while Poppy certainly thought she had better things to do, she agreed with Madam Burbanks' lesson plan.

'When Professor Snape tells you to skin Shrivelfigs or to cut daisy roots, you know how to handle a knife, don't you?' she had told the most spoilt of the lot, Miss Favor and Miss Bingham-Jones.

'Yes, but…'

'No buts, ladies. Peeling potatoes is nothing different!'

'That's a servants job!' they had cried out in shock.

'Suit yourselves,' Poppy had said, deep in her heart feeling the magical world wouldn't suffer a great loss if those two starved to death.

But even the most trying day has an end, and by five she had managed to clear the hospital wing apart from a first year with the chicken pox and the seventh year Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, who had his right shoulder shattered by a Bludger impact. The little girl was sleeping peacefully, she'd be alright, and Poppy went to see the Ravenclaw boy.

'Good evening, Madam Pomfrey.'

'Hello Roger. Time for your exercise,' she smiled at him. She waved her wand to remove the cast and examined his shoulder. 'Better, but still not perfect,' she frowned. 'Stretch your arm please Roger, and now lift it above your shoulder.'

They worked their exercise and he had made enough progress for Poppy to send him to madam Hooch's training classes.

'Thank you madam Pomfrey,' the boy smiled. 'I thought my Quidditch days were over, but you have put me together again!' He bowed and kissed her cheek. 'Thank you!' and he left the hospital, leaving her with a blush and a smile on her face.

She sat down at her desk and wrote a note to Rolanda, telling her what to be careful for while training Roger. She sent the note through the fireplace, and after that she leant back in her chair, suddenly feeling exhausted.

Seven pm, dinner time but she could not bring herself to go over there and be social…

A popping sound announced a bowl of steaming pea soup with a slice of rye bread and bacon on the side, and a note.

_I know, enjoy your meal, see you later. Love, M _

She smiled, moved over to her kitchen table and ate her dinner.

o-o-o-o-o

'Espressos for us please, and Annabel?'

'I'd like a lemon granite,' she said.

'Very well!' the short, balding restaurant owner dashed to the kitchen.

It really was a good restaurant, Severus thought. Small and tucked away in a back road, it was managed by an Italian family and had excellent food.

He had had a splendid evening, chatting with Ambrose and Annabel, going past memory lane and enjoying the best the Italian kitchen had to offer. Even when he had to excuse himself every hour to attend to his hand. Like Poppy had predicted, the blisters were drying in and by now all the redness and swelling had gone.

'Our treat Severus!' Ambrose said while grabbing the bill. 'It's been fun to meet like this. Say hello to the old witch for me!'

'Which old witch?' Severus asked drily.

'The wicked witch! Ding, dong! I'm sorry Severus, I've had too much of that excellent wine I suppose. I meant, please give my regards to Poppy and Minerva.'

'I will,' Severus grinned. 'Thank you Annabel and Ambrose, I've had a lovely evening.'

He Apparated back to Hogwarts, went straight to his chambers and decided to have an early night in, when he remembered Poppy's request to see him anyway.

He walked over to the hospital wing and knocked on the door.

'Who's there?'

'It's Severus, you wanted to check on my hand. And I've brought your books.'

The door opened and he gasped for air. That was Poppy alright, but he had never seen her like that, wrapped in a dark green dressing gown and without the veil. Long, dark chestnut curls spilled over her shoulders and back. Her blue eyes and rosy cheeks made her look like a porcelain doll.

'Come in, Severus,' she smiled at him.

And in her sitting room he met Minerva, in a burgundy red dressing gown, hair down and glasses gone.

'I only need them to look stern,' she said. 'And for distances.'

'We were just having a night cap,' Poppy informed him. 'You want one too?'

'No thank you,' he smiled, knowing what they were having, 'I'll go to bed after my check.'

Minerva collected the dishes while Poppy examined his hand.

'It looks much better, but you still have to be careful. Apply the salve every six hours now. What happened at the apothecary?'

'Nothing, I had tea with Ambrose and dinner in London, a nice restaurant, you'll like it too. Oh, and Ambrose told me to give you both his regards.'

Poppy chuckled and bid him goodnight.

o-o-o-o-o

To his surprise, the next day after lunch Minerva called in.

'Lessons, have you forgotten?' she asked, raising an eyebrow.

'No, but I though the two of you would be happy examining my blood and skin flakes.'

'Poppy is, but there's no reason why we shouldn't continue your training.'

'Alright then, let's go.'

Pieces of furniture were changed into other pieces of furniture and back, and half an hour later, when Severus had effortless ands wandless changed his bookcase into a teaspoon and back again, Minerva nodded.

'Good. You're back up to your school days level and even beyond, I have to say. Now we'll move one step ahead. Like you've read in Ms Szczarzka's book your teacher, which is me, has to bring you in a light trance and then puts a spell on you, to make you have a first, very slight impression of the shape you will take as an Animagus. Usually, it only tells you something about the size. Since one's Animagus form is decided at birth, no matter if one actually masters the skill or not, I don't see any problems here and neither does Poppy. Animagi shapes do not change due events in life, like some Patronuses sometimes do. Are you ready, Severus?'

'I am,' he said, feeling very tense.

'All right then,' Minerva said and waved her wand.

At first, it seemed nothing happened at all. Then he felt a strange sensation tickling in his limbs. Small, they were. But not very small…A black coat. Something itched his nose. A sweet smell drifted towards him, a cloud of grey mist appeared and went by and he found himself waking up, stretched out on his settee.

Blinking against the suddenly bright light in his chambers, he looked into Minerva's smiling face.

'What do you think?' she asked. He told her what he'd felt.

'I think you'll be happy to learn that you're not a tarantula, you're bigger than that, nor are you a snake, since you have fur. You may be a bat, they're furry creatures too but I doubt it, you'd have felt the need to fly if you were, it's a very strong signal.'

'I felt nothing of the kind,' he said.

'Good. You did extremely well, I think next week we may try a first real change. In the meantime I want you to perfect your wandless and wordless magic in transfigurating your furniture. You are doing well, but it has to become an automatism. Well done Severus, like I knew you would, I must say. Let Poppy deal with the rabbit business.'

She left and Severus fixed himself a fresh coffee, sighing in relieve.

Not a snake, spider, cockroach, bluebottle, snail or sow-bug then. Thank Merlin for that! Not an insect at all; too large for that. And with fur, black fur. Not even a bat or he would have felt the urge to fly according to Minerva. No, it seemed he would turn into a kind of normal animal…

o-o-o-o-o-o

In her laboratory, Poppy peered through microscopes, took samples from samples, mixed them with other samples, added a drop of this here and a grain of that there. Severus had been right; she loved this. Researching, testing, finding answers.

She had cross checked almost every option, when suddenly a strange bubbling image made her sit up straight in shock, grabbing for a quill and parchment to owl Wiggings.

o-o-o-o

**A/N So far for this lesson…. Does anyone have an idea about Severus' Animagus form yet? x george**


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N Is it a bird? Is it a plane…?_

**Lesson 5**

**In which Madam Pomfrey makes a discovery, and Severus finally finds out more about his Animagus form.**

o-o-o-o-o

By Thursday Severus had mastered the art of wordless and wandless transfiguration to perfection. He had created a mess in his office by accidently changing his desk into a quill when he was looking for one and the entire contents of his desk crashed to the floor, including three new and therefore very full inkbottles.

It has to become an automatism Minerva had said, but not this kind of automatism, he had grinned while cleaning up the mess with a wave of his wand. After that, no more accidents had happened. Meanwhile, he became more and more curious about his Animagus form.

Not an insect but not a big animal either and not a flying species. A cat? A smaller kind of dog? He had never thought of himself as a cat person, and the idea of changing into a dog didn't please him, it made him remember Black's mangy form and he had always detested Black. A ferret then or perhaps a rabbit? He was looking forward to his next lesson.

o-o-o-o

Madam Pomfrey thanked the stars she had had no patients on her ward after Roger and the first-year with chickenpox had been dismissed. Her research on Severus's rabbit had proved to be more than interesting. She had spent many hours with professor Wiggings, both in her own lab and in his offices at St Mungo's.

When her test tube began to bubble and fume on Saturday, she had known she had something big. Severus's blood didn't react with the rabbit's, no matter which reagent she added. Nor did his skin cells, to her surprise. She had been convinced it had to be something about the Dark Mark. Hm.

Poppy knew the best way to proceed when one was out of ideas, was to pause and do something entirely different. So she had prepared herself a cup of tea and a sandwich for lunch, and had gone to check on her stock cupboard after that.

Gauzes, plenty. Pepper-up potion plenty. Burns salve was running a bit low, as were the mint leaves. Painkillers; plenty. Ah, yes, she needed anti itching powder! And there was the Weasley box; simple all-spell stoppers to deal with their nosebleed-nougat, their Puke-Pills and their Spit Spotting Solution…wait there. Wait there. Spit spotting…!

She went back to her lab, grabbed a cotton swab, stuck it between the bars of the rabbit's cage and it bit the swab violently.

Rabbit spit…a smear in a test tube, a drop of distilled water and a skin flake... and almost instantly angry bubbles and purple steam puffs appeared. She'd made sure to catch the steam in another tube, sealed both off and owled Wiggings immediately. She was on to something big here.

o-o-o-o-o

Severus had made a show of sitting in his chair, nose in a book when Minerva called in that Saturday. Meanwhile he had changed every floorboard she had stepped on into a flowerbed, the last one being a bed of Scottish thistles.

'I am impressed, and you have convinced me,' she'd chuckled.

'We might as well have our first try right away. The spell itself is simple; Forma Animagus Cominciara but first you have to remember the strongest image you had when you were in trance last week. Which impressed you most?'

'The black pelt, I think.'

'Very well. It's likely we may not succeed the first try and if we don't, it will leave you dizzy for a short while. Nothing chocolate can't cure though and after you've recovered we can try again. Are you ready?'

'I am.'

'Go ahead then. I'll be here.'

Severus imagined a black pelt and wordlessly performed the spell. He felt his skin grow itchy, his arms and legs hurt, he became dizzy and then he didn't know what happened anymore.

Once again he woke up on his sofa, looking into Minerva's eyes. She had produced a bar of Honeydukes' Finest, broke off a fairly large piece and offered it to him.

'Did you expect me to fail?' he grumbled as soon as his spinning head allowed him to speak.

'No Severus, I just came prepared,' she said. 'Eat your chocolate.'

A house elf popped in and brought tea.

'Thank you, Dobby,' she smiled at the creature.

She prepared them both a cup of tea. 'It's silly, but I could never eat chocolate without having a cup of tea with it,' she said.

They had their tea with a lot of chocolate and soon Severus felt better and he told her so.

'Good. As I said, usually these changes don't succeed at the first attempt. Or the second or third or fifth for that matter, ' Minerva lectured him. He scowled.

'It would appear, the strongest image you visualised wasn't the right one. Tell me how you felt during your unsuccessful change.'

He closed his eyes, remembered his experiences and told her about them.

'Hm. The pelt usually is a strong indicator but in your case it obviously wasn't the strongest. You said your arms and legs hurt, so I believe you better concentrate on those for your next try.'

'But I don't have anything specific to focus on,' he protested. 'Like, are they big or small or very hairy or are there many of them, what am I to do?'

'It would seem your arms and legs are very distinctive to your animal form, big or small or whatever,' Minerva answered. 'Just focus on your arms and legs, we'll try again. Are you ready?'

'I am, he said and focused his attention on his arms and legs before performing the spell. His skin grew itchy like it had before, but the sensation washed away quickly and was replaced by a nice warmth . He felt his arms and legs again but very shortly and it was nothing like pain; more like a kind of sparkling. He opened his eyes and was shocked to find himself very close to the floor. Had he fallen over again? He examined his body. No, he appeared to be on his feet and Merlin help him, his hands! Realising that was to be expected when one changed into an animal, he was able to stop himself from protesting loudly about that and instead looked up to Minerva. Her face was very far away. She towered over him. She smiled and chuckled and he snapped at her. 'What's so funny?'

A series of unfamiliar sounds left his throat.

'Look in the mirror, Severus!' Minerva said.

He did so and jumped back in shock when he saw his reflection.

o-o-o-o

**TBC! Thanks for your kind reviews, x george**


	6. Chapter 6

Lesson 6

_A/N Of course, a platypus! Why didn't I think of that….:-) Bonobo, also a brilliant suggestion. I am touched and grateful by your suggestions and have had more than a few laughs. Thank you so much! However….._

**Lesson 6. In which a successful lesson is cut short. **

o-o-o-o-o

'You're laughing at me!' he grumbled.

'No I'm not Severus, honestly, you know I never would!' Minerva laughed. She herself had changed into her Animagus form, so they were able to have a conversation.

'What's so funny then?'

'I don't know, I kind of expected you to turn into a dog although I don't know why, and your mentioning a black coat made me think of a Rottweiler or a Dobermann, but that didn't make sense because you weren't a very big animal, so I was confused and…'

'I see,' Animagus Severus growled at her.

'But your coat colour is the same, black and tan, very pretty! It's just you're not that big, but there's nothing wrong there, size doesn't matter, as they say.'

'Somehow I find your howling about my Animagus form doesn't help.'

'I'm sorry, it's just that I didn't expect you to be so cute!'

'Oh stop that!' He bared his teeth and growled again, but that only seemed to make her laugh more.

'I'm sorry, I really am Severus. I'm surprised, that's all…I actually think your Animagus shape is one of the most useful ones for your purposes, just imagine a stag or a grizzly bear strolling down Diagon Alley, I expect that would draw unwanted attention.'

'Hm,' he snorted and turned to face the mirror again. Severus Snape, he told himself, you have mastered the art of turning yourself into an animal, and it would appear your Animagus form is a...'

A flash of green light shot from his fireplace, startling them both.

'It's Poppy. I have to go,' Minerva breathed and all but jumped into the fire, leaving him just a fraction of a second to bark; 'What's the reverse spell?'

'Forma Animagus f…' she shouted, her last words muffled by the fireplace. She left a cloud of greenish soot that Severus recognised as the remains of an urgent call. Be that as it may, he thought to himself. No need to leave me here like this…!

o-o-o-o-o

Actually, being a dog but not something impressing like a German shepherd or a Dobermann could have its benefits, he thought to himself. A smaller animal was less likely to draw attention. And no matter how much he didn't want it, his Animagus shape was decided by birth so there was nothing he could change about it.

Looking into the mirror again, he took a deep breath and shared a long and stern look with his reflection.

Well.

It would take some getting used to, but in the end he was sure he would manage, if for no other reason he had no other choice but to manage. However, Minerva's sudden departure had left him here in his animal form, and Poppy's call could mean both witches would be stuck to their microscopes and test tubes for the rest of the weekend. He knew Poppy was on to something so he held no hope there…Now what?

He considered his possibilities and decided there was nothing to it. He just had to go out and find Minerva and ask her for the reverse spell, if he ever wanted to be able to teach next Monday.

Severus took a deep breath and left his quarters.

o-o-o-o-o

'Look at that Minerva? Do you see that?' Madame Pomfrey shouted, hugging her lover around the waist and swirling her around, thus making sure she couldn't see what was so important.

'Sorry, love, but I'm so happy! We have made such great progress! Look, look at Wiggings' letter!'

Finally Minerva got the chance to actually read the letter. She gasped, read it again, read it another time, then wrapped Poppy in her arms and waltzed her around the room.

'Oh darling, you did it, you finally did it!' she beamed at her love.

'Not without your help, I couldn't love…' Poppy began but found her mouth being closed by a hot kiss. 'Nonsense, you're the chemist here, you did it love, you deserve it,' Minerva breathed against her neck. 'I love you so much, you could have a great career as a chemist and physician but…'

'But then I could not be with you, my darling Deputy. I'm perfectly happy here, just as long as you allow me to drag you to my bed, I suddenly feel a very strong need to ravish you.'

'Poppy, it's Saturday afternoon!'

'So what?' Poppy answered while swish of her and made Minerva's robes fly hastily from her body.

'So what indeed,' she moaned into her lover's mouth. They barely made it into the bedroom.

o-o-o-o

Meanwhile, Severus walked Hogwart's corridors, choosing the route that would make sure he met as few students as possible. Alongside his own classroom that was, then, and although it was a slight detour, past the library. Most students would avoid that place like the plague on their weekends, he figured and he was right, except he hadn't thought about Miss Granger. Of course she had to enter the library the same moment he passed by and of course the girl bent down to stroke his back.

'I haven't seen you before, where did you come from?' she cooed at him. He bared his teeth and growled at her. 'Al right, al right, I see you don't like attention,' she shrugged, and went into the library. Being grateful Weasley and Potter weren't with her, he moved along.

A place impossible to avoid on his way to the hospital wing was the first floor landing, where all houses met.

Far too many students here for his tastes….but wait, wasn't it a Hogsmeade weekend? Thank Merlin it was! They would be gone within minutes. He sat himself down in a corner and happily watched the students leave the castle.

Then a sharp hiss behind him made him prick up his ears.

o-o-o-o-o

**TBC… we still don't know…or do we? X george **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_A/N Congratulations to you dear ladies, DeathsHeadMoth and risi!_

_It is indeed a dachshund and more particular, a miniature dachshund. Certainly more useful than a platypus. I'd love to deliver your well deserved prices in person but alas, as we live on different continents this note is all I can offer...:-) _

**Lesson 7 **

**In which Severus gets more familiar with the pros and cons of being an Animagus, and finds out what exactly he has created by turning a pincushion into a baby rabbit.**

o-o-o-o-o

He swirled around and looked into the narrowed eyes of Mrs Norris.

'Who are you? I don't know you,' she hissed, padding closer to him.

'I can assure you that you know me very well. Now go away!' he snapped at her. But instead of scurrying away as she would do when he was in his usual shape, she sniffed the air around him carefully.

'I smell…hot steel and copper…boiling kettles. Ah…you're the dark one! But not now, you're a doggie with ridiculous legs…and I rule the corridors, little dog.'

He bared his teeth and growled, although past experiences had shown him that didn't work very well, and like Minerva had Mrs Norris laughed, only her laughter sounded more like someone choking on a hot potato.

'Cute, very cute! The lapdog is thinking himself a Doberman!'

'Indeed I am,' Severus growled and pounced.

Barking and growling, he attacked Mrs Norris who hadn't expected the assault and suddenly found herself with the miniature dachshund's small, sharp teeth firmly stuck in her front leg.

Shrieking and screeching, she scratched the doggy snout with her other paw, causing blood drops trickling across his nose, but the dog didn't let go. Growling even louder, he set his teeth more firmly and started to shake the cat body around.

The growling, screeching and bits of fur flying around had to alarm Filch though and it didn't take long for him to appear. In the middle of his attack on Mrs Norris a thought came up in Severus' head; were they really sure that man was a Squib? A castle the size of an entire village and yet, when his cat was in trouble he appeared on the spot.

'What is happening…!' he shouted. 'A dog, you have caught a dog my dear! What's that fleabag doing here… Away! Away with you!' Filch threw himself into the fight and started to beat the small dog with hs stick. Knowing when it was enough, Severus let go and ran full speed to the hospital wing where he expected to find Minerva, leaving Mrs Norris and Filch to lick their wounds.

o-o-o-o

The door to the hospital wing was closed.

'Minerva, are you there?' he called.

The only sound that echoed through the thankfully deserted corridor was an angry yapping.

Merlin's teeth, the thought angrily. He broadened his chest, took a deep breath and tried to let out a full, dark and heavy bark.

'Minerva!' he shouted.

Bow wow wow! it came out, albeit a bit less high pitched.

The door remained firmly closed an no sounds were heard from the inside. Either the two were immersed in their research, or he realised, engaged otherwise… In that case, he could bark as much as he wanted. He growled and scratched the door with his paws and to his surprise, it suddenly flew open. A rather dishevelled nurse answered the door, barefoot, apron askew and veil missing.

'Now what? A handbag dog, I never thought I'd see the day witches bring in Chihuahuas as their pets!' she said angrily and he took the opportunity to slip inside.

'I am not a handbag dog!' he barked angrily at Poppy, unfortunately it came out as a particularly high pitched yap.

'Dear Circe, first I have a rabbit in my care, next the caretaker annoys me about his ghastly cat and now I find a Chihuahua at my door. What's up next, putting the mice to bed? I don't…' the nurse ranted on, but she was cut off by the Deputy who emerged from her private quarters, clad only in a dressing gown.

'Poppy stop that, it's Severus! I must have muffled the reverse spell when I came over here…it's Forma Animagus Fine! Concentrate on your paws Severus, on your legs I mean and you'll chance back!'

He did as she said and indeed, he changed back into his human shape.

'Well done Severus!' Minerva exclaimed. 'Very few students manage as well as you did!'

He snorted.

Poppy meanwhile stood dumbfounded. 'Severus, was that you? That small handbag sized dog, was that you?' she asked him, disbelief shining in her blue eyes.

'It would appear I was,' he answered with as much dignity as he could master, glaring at her. She stared back at him, wide eyed, but it appeared once again his glare didn't have the result it usually had.

'Oh Severus!' the insufferable woman cried before she began to laugh. 'You were so cute! I was sure you were Miss Favor's new pet, she is the only one silly enough for such a thing! I am so sorry Severus!' she roared with laughter, soon being joined by Minerva.

'I can see that you are,' he grumbled.

'I am happy both you and Minerva enjoyed a good laugh at my cost. Now however, might we return to the job at hand? As in, what kind of non existing animal I have created?'

'Of course,' Poppy panted, sinking down onto a chair and clutching her side. 'I am so sorry Severus!'

'Oh, alright.'

'I didn't mean to laugh at you, honestly!'

'Of course not. Now, have you two master brains discovered anything about this rabbit thing?'

'Ah, yes. I believe we did. Merlin, I haven't laughed like that in ages!'

'I'm glad. Now, out with it!'

'To be honest Severus, we aren't quite sure yet, but professor Wiggings, Minerva and me believe you have created a possible cure for vampirism.'

o-o-o-o-o

**TBC soon if you like….x george **


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_A/N It's just a silly tale….and now it's gone completely out of hand. It will become very clear I do not own anything._

**Lesson 8 **

**In which it's proven that who laughs last, laughs best. Or something like that. **

o-o-o-o

'Vampirism?'

He was flabbergasted. 'You may have found a cure for vampirism?'

'We do think so, yes.'

'Vampirism? But vampires are extinct!'

'It is believed they are, for several decades now, but should one turn up we may have the remedy to cure them! Isn't that fantastic, Severus?'

Professor Snape sank down on the small sofa in the hospital wing. Vampires, honestly.

Suddenly the stress and strain of the afternoon and its more harrowing experiences – he vividly remembered having Mrs Norris's fur between his teeth and its particularly mouldy taste – got the best of him.

He grinned, he chuckled and soon he doubled up with roaring laughter.

The two Hogwarts super-brains looked confused for once, he registered between howls.

'Severus, what's wrong?' Minerva asked anxiously. 'Poppy, is he all right? Run a check on him, please!'

The matron waved her wand and shook her head at Minerva.

'Nothing seems to be wrong love. But I agree I never saw him like this.'

'I hardly ever saw him smile, Poppy!'

'Nor did I, but it seems he does know how to use those muscles after all.'

'Hahahaha! I didn't mean to laugh at you!' Severus screamed with laughter. 'I really don't, Poppy! Hahahaha!'

'I suppose we deserved that,' Minerva sighed, 'nothing to do but wait until it's over. What's the time, half past four already? Good, because I may need a drink…let me get dressed first though. Having whisky while not fully dressed makes me feel kind of…'

'Wanton?' Poppy grinned.

'..something like that,' Minerva said and kissed her.

It took almost a quarter of an hour for Severus to calm down. He leaned back on the sofa, panting and wiping tears from his eyes, while Minerva and Poppy had made themselves presentable and had produced a decent bottle of Scotch.

'I'm sorry ladies. I didn't mean to laugh at you, honestly,' he managed to say without bursting into giggles again. A glass containing a dram of whisky was pressed into his hand.

'Drink up Severus, I suppose we're even now. Slàinte!' Minerva said.

'Thank you. I am proud and honoured to have been part of the research that resulted in a cure for a condition that, while extinct for over half a century, someday may rear its ugly head. I drink to that, my dear friends.'

'Hear, hear.'

'I just wondered Poppy, what are you going to do with that poisonous rabbit?'

'Oh, I think I will keep it around for a while. It is rather cute as long as you remember to keep a distance, and immobilise it first when you want to stroke it. And I am intrigued about the vampire part. Perhaps when it's grown, it will have little wings or a bat face… thank you for creating this for me. I will have something to keep me occupied in empty hours.'

'My pleasure.'

'Of course, we could set it free at a Death Eaters meeting, or train it to attack the Dark Lord,' Minerva put in.

'Whatever made you think of that?'

'I don't know, actually. It just popped up.'

Severus sighed.

'I think it's a brilliant idea, but there is this prophecy that we have to consider. The rabbit doesn't fit in there.'

'Is the prophecy really that important? Wasn't it Sybil that made it?' Poppy sneered.

This time Minerva sighed.

'She did and according to Albus it was a genuine prophecy, however I don't know how he could tell, honestly. To me she looked every bit the idiot as she did before.'

'Errol Wiggings at st Mungo's knows a witch who's been at St Andrews' university in Edinburgh and she said it actually has something to do with a Muggle woman,' Poppy informed them.'He told me last week, when we were chatting through the fireplace.'

'A Muggle woman? You mean Petunia Dursley?' Minerva asked.

'Oh no, she's a Squib, bordering very close to being magical, a tragic case actually…No, it's about an author, who has to complete a series of books before The Dark Lord can be defeated. Errol said he was going to investigate it, because that's beyond ridiculous.'

'Do you mean we can't train this rabbit to attack the Dark Lord, because some author has to finish a series of books?' Severus gaped.

'That's what Errol said.'

'But then why did we come up with a perfect remedy to finish the Dark Lord, if we can't use it?' Minerva said.

'I don't know and neither does Errol. The powers that be, he thinks. And he says it's not the first time. There have been many opportunities to get rid of him, but there were the books to consider.'

'Now I understand,' Severus said angrily. 'It would have been so easy for me to deal with that fool Quirrell, but my wand blocked! I went to Ollivander and he said nothing was wrong with it, I even got mad at him. The powers that be?'

'That's four years ago!' Minerva exclaimed. 'Now I see why I wasn't able to contact Sirius Black, even after Lupin told me he was all right. They would have told me about Pettigrew and I would have blasted the rat to smithereens in a second!'

'Errol says it's got to do with canon, whatever that means,' Poppy said.

'And I say, hang canon,' Minerva said. 'We have a way to get rid of the Dark Lord without the whole school being demolished, as those authors usually can't do without a big spectacle. Poppy, you train that rabbit to attack anything that has a snake face and Severus, the first time you are Summoned you take the wee beastie with you. I will make it a muzzle that can be released at any given moment.'

o-o-o-o

Three weeks later Severus was Summoned by his Dark Master. Enough time for Poppy to train the baby rabbit and Minerva to fix it up with a magic muzzle. Severus changed in his Death Eater robes and put the wee rabbit in his pocket before Apparating to the meeting place. As usual, it was at a clearing in a forest somewhere.

It was a nice opportunity, he thought. A forest, so a rabbit would not be out of place… and not that many fellow Death Eaters to distract it… Crabbe the older was present but he looked more like a scared worm and so did Parks and Conroy…Merlin, what a pathetic lot they actually were…and for contrast there were Lucius Malfoy and Yaxley looking like the Sun King and his lieutenant.

The Dark Lord started his speech. The usual ranting about the Fool at Hogwarts and his Muggle-loving ways….the witch Minerva who was his pawn…. Severus didn't actually listen and he was sure none of the others did…the same issues over and over again.

When he was sure no one was paying attention to him, Severus pulled the tiny rabbit from his pocket, pointed it in Voldemort's direction and pinched its ears to boot. The small animal sprinted towards the Dark Lord, Severus released its muzzle and the animal bit him in his toe. The Dark Lord shook his leg and managed to sweep the baby rabbit away, but it ran back full force and bit the Dark Lord in his knee. And in his leg, his finger, his arm, his neck and then aimed for his nose. But because the Dark Lord did not have a nose, the rabbit bit him directly in his sensitive nerves and blood vessels.

Severus watched the scene and almost forgot he caused it, the view was too spectacular.

From every place the rabbit had bitten him, blue steam and green bubbly fluid erupted from the Dark Lord´s skin. It was a nasty thing to watch and, judging from the shrieking and screeching, it hurt as well. Severus watched with fascination while the Dark Lord deflated like a giant balloon. The ugly green bubbly goo leaking from his form turned into a yellowish, thick smoke and then disappeared. The cries died down. In the end, nothing was left of Lord Voldemort but an empty piece of skin. The baby rabbit growled and then quickly ate the empty skin, while Severus and the Death Eaters watched in horror, not believing their eyes.

The baby rabbit grew and grew, it grew the size of a dog, a horse, and then…. a soft pop sounded, the thing combusted and burned up quickly, leaving no traces.

Severus quickly checked the others and saw he needn't be afraid of discovery. No one had any idea what happened, and no one suspected him.

When they were recovered from the shock, the men gingerly came closer to the spot where the rabbit had last been seen.

'What happened there…?' Crabbe stammered.

'I don't know…it looked like the Dark Lord was attacked by a small rabbit, but that's impossible…' Yaxley whispered.

Lucius Malfoy and Severus scanned the ground together, looking for any trace of the beast, albeit for different reasons, but neither could find anything. Not the tiniest scrap of fur, no little blobs of goo or even blood drops. There was simply no trace left of neither the rabbit nor lord Voldemort.

Parks and Conroy were useless, they watched from behind a tree, teeth chattering, holding each other's hands like schoolboys.

'Dare I say it? Are we free?' Lucius whispered in Severus's ear.

'It looks like it…but we better keep quiet for the time being, I think,' Severus whispered back.

'You never know…wait.' He quickly rolled up his left sleeve and then stared in disbelief at his arm. A white, hairy, skinny arm without a Dark Mark.

Lucius gasped and checked his own arm…Dark Mark gone.

'I think we are free…really free,' he whispered again, eyes shining. He removed his cloak and mask, threw then on the ground and cheered 'Incendio!' a wave of his wand set the hated items on fire.

'Wha…wha...' the others stammered in confusion.

'Were free!' Lucius shouted. 'Check your arms! The Mark's gone! Voldemort is gone!'

They did and all marks were well and truly gone.

A cheer broke out in the forest. 'We're FREE!' the men shouted, they all took off their cloaks and masks and turned them into a pile that burned nicely.

'Barbecue!' shouted Crabbe and Lucius snapped at him. 'Are you mad or just stupid? I am not going to eat anything that's roasted on a fire of Death Eater gear and neither will you, you piece of utter….'

'Calm down Lucius,' Yaxley said soothing. 'You're right, but leave him be. We will never have to put up with him and those other idiots again! Go home, everyone!' he ordered.

'And keep your mouths shut! Wait, I have a better idea…come here you lot…Obliviate!'

Severus and Lucius wanted to protest but Yaxley stopped them. 'Its for the best, really. Merlin knows what these idiots will make of this…not that we know what to make of it but we're not stupid. I bid you goodnight now, gentlemen. I'm going home. I suggest we keep in touch though.' And he Disapparated.

The other men had gone home as well, although they didn't know why, and Lucius nudged Severus in the ribs.

'Fancy a pint at the Leaky Cauldron?' he grinned, 'to celebrate?'

'I'd better not, I have to teach tomorrow and it's never just the one pint with you. How about Friday evening? Dinner at an excellent Italian restaurant in Muggle London I've recently discovered and partying afterwards?'

'Deal,' Lucius smiled. 'Goodnight Severus.'

'Goodnight Lucius,' he answered. 'It's good to be friends again,' the old friends hugged and then went their separate ways.

o-o-o-o-o

'How long do these meetings usually take?' Poppy asked her friend.

'It depends, sometimes he's back within the hour and sometimes well past midnight. I really don't know,' Minerva answered. She looked as anxious as Poppy felt, and she knew they both needed distraction or they would run themselves mad.

'You know what? Let's put up the telly and watch a film,' Poppy smiled. 'With a pot of tea and our feet up under a blanket.'

Minerva's eyes lit up. 'Brilliant idea love,' she said happily.

Normal electricity didn't work at Hogwarts, but they weren't the two most intelligent witches in the school for nothing. An ingenious set of sun panels was placed on Hogwarts' roofs, made invisible and delivering power to their modified TV set.

'My nephew Colin says we should watch this dvd…'Raiders of the Lost Ark',' Poppy suggested. 'Very amusing and entertaining he says, that's just what we need now.'

o-o-o-o-o

Indiana Jones had proved to be an excellent distraction for two witches who were anxiously waiting for their friend to return from a dangerous mission.

'That was great,' Minerva purred while cuddling up to her lover.

'Colin says there are sequels, he'll be happy to send them. That Indiana fellow is quite handsome, don't you think?'

'Mmm, yes. Eye candy, as the Muggles say. If I weren't so much in love with you I would know what to do,' Minerva chuckled.

'Don't even think about it,' Poppy growled. Minerva grinned and kissed her deeply.

'Thank you darling, Indiana was just what I needed, I suppose. I was able to forget about Severus for a while… What on earth is keeping him?'

'It's only just past midnight, you said it sometimes takes even longer for him to return…' Poppy began to sooth her but then, suddenly, someone knocked at the door.

She was on her feet immediately, rushed to the door and yanked it open to find a very happy looking Potion's master.

To her surprise, he lifted her up in his arms as soon as he entered the room and swirled her around, his dark eyes glittering and a seldom seen smile on his face.

'It's over Poppy! We did it! He's gone!'

'Oh, Severus!'

He put her down and looked around. 'Where's Minerva…look! Look at this!' '

He rolled up his left sleeve and showed them his arm. They both stared at it for seconds, before jumping into his arms.

'It worked!'

'Severus, this means he is really gone, doesn't it? Oh, I'm so happy for you, I'm so happy! It means you're free!'

'Tell us what happened!'

He told them in detail, while they fetched him a drink.

'So the rabbit did a perfect job although I don't understand why it combusted. We couldn't find any trace of it,' he finished.

'I'm glad, even though it would have made a most interesting object to study. Did you happen to see whether it sported fangs when it attacked?'

'No, it was too far away. I suppose I ruined you cure for vampirism now, with the rabbit and the Mark gone.'

'Oh don't be, I've got samples.'

Minerva poured them all another drink.

'So the only one who won't be happy about all this probably is the Muggle author,' she said.

'She'll live,' Poppy said.

'Cheers, to a Voldemort free future!'

o-o-o-o-o-o

**THE END **

_A/N Sorry if I disappointed you with this piece of utter nonsense…there will be an epilogue, I think._


	9. Chapter 9

Epilogue

o-o-o-o-o

'Severus, this is going to be fun!' Minerva purred, eyes shining. 'Let's go, run!'

The next instant a miniature dachshund and a tabby cat raced the cellars and halls of Hogwarts Castle, on a Friday evening two weeks later.

'Come on Severus!' Minerva cried.

'I'll have you know that I'm a dachshund and as such I have very short legs,' Severus answered grumpily. It annoyed him to no end that she was so much quicker than him in her Animagus form. The woman was over twenty years his senior! But he took a deep breath and chased her through the empty Great Hall, barking happily.

She ran downstairs to the more deserted cellars and there they met a big ginger monster.

'Crookshanks!' Minerva greeted him. 'This is Severus, he's one of us.'

'Are you sure?' the big cat growled. 'He used to be a dark one.' Severus felt a bit insecure; that ginger beast was twice his size…but Minerva danced around him.

'He is no more Crookshanks! Look at him, the Mark has gone, he is free now.'

Severus had to endure a slightly uncomfortable screening by Crookshanks' green eyes, but it seemed the beast approved of him.

'Congratulations dear sir, and welcome to our small crew of Animagi and other mixed species at Hogwarts! In your animal form you will be a much appreciated extra pair of eyes and ears in this castle, and report to me, as I am sort of in charge. Until then, let's play!'

A rubber ball appeared from nowhere and the three animals enjoyed themselves playing with it for almost half an hour. Then, Minerva kept the ball between her paws and looked at her companions, looking extremely relaxed and eyes brimming with joy.

'I want to hunt Mrs Norris!' she said. 'Please, let's go and pester her!'

'Minerva! I am ashamed of you!' Crookshanks muttered.

'Oh come on, she is a nuisance!'

'I agree,' Severus put in, 'and she's mouldy.'

'Oh, very well then,' Crookshanks agreed, 'but only because I dislike her just as much as you do. Let's go!'

They ran to the corridor of Sir Cadogan on the second floor and had fun by kicking over several harnesses and play football with the helmets. Despite his short legs, Severus appeared to be quite the goal getter. 'It's all tactics,' he told Minerva, who snorted.

Soon the racket of the harnesses being kicked around had Mrs Norris come up to inspect.

'Ha!' Minerva screamed.

'Gggrrrr!' Severus growled.

'I'm sorry Mrs Norris,' Crookshanks explained politely, 'but you had it coming.'

Mrs Norris startled and made a run for it.

Severus yapped and ran after her. Minerva hissed and followed, full speed.

o-o-o-o

Hours later, Professors Snape and McGonagall found themselves in her private quarters, both feeling extremely relaxed, sharing a dram of whisky.

'I told you Severus, there's no stress relieve like this. I had a wonderful evening and the best part was seeing Mrs Norris on top of the North tower, screaming for Filch to help her down. Do you think she's still up there?'

'Who knows,' Minerva smiled.

'You were right, I haven't had this much fun in ages. Do you think next time we could hound Trelawney a bit?'

'Severus, I can't allow that!' she protested.

'No because you're the deputy…but I know you love the idea.'

She chuckled.

o-o-o-o-o

**THE END**

_**A/N**_

_A great big thank you! to all you lovely readers, reviewers and followers. You made my days! Love, george _


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